Mirror Mirror (2012)

2012 was apparently the year for Snow White. Four different versions were released in various forms including Snow White and the Huntsman with the ridiculous Kristen Stewart. I was shocked to see that it was nominated for two Oscars when so many fantastic films seem to have been overlooked, but apparently they’re for costume and visual effects so that’s ok.

Mirror Mirror’s cast is not quite as star-studded as Snow White and the Huntsman’s, but still features some pretty high profile names. Julia Roberts is the evil Queen and Sean Bean the King. Armie Hammer (The Social Network) plays the prince and is horribly saccharine throughout, and the Queen’s aid is Nathan Lane who, for all his many film at TV appearances is still probably best known as the voice of Timon from The Lion King. As far as I’m concerned anyway. Lily Collins, who plays Snow White, has been in absolutely nothing of note except The Blind Side (The Priest and Abduction don’t really count as films of note as far as I’m concerned). She is ridiculously annoying although pretty enough in exactly the right fairy-tale way so she’s reasonably suited for the role. Especially in such an annoying film.

Because oh my God it was annoying! Notwithstanding a perfectly acceptable train-her-to-be-a-fighter montage in the middle (who doesn’t love a good montage?) the whole film is ridiculous. Not ridiculous in a good quality B-film kind of way – no, no – that was what I was hoping to find, but in a way that made me that close to giving up on it after about half an hour. Being mostly about The Queen rather than completely concentrating on Snow White, I imagine it was designed as some kind of final ego boost for Julia Roberts before everyone completely forgets about her and moves on.

Oh yeah, and Snow White starts singing some kind of Bollywood number at the end. That was unnecessary! Maybe kids will like it.

My lasting impression: Oh Sean Bean! What have you become?